Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
