everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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