i permit you to call me
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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