the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
