Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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