Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
