So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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