It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
