im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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