You don't have asthma, your pregnant
That's intense
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
