Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
