He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
