Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize