im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
