I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
