I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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