Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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