We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
