Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
What a dumb baby whore.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
this hospital has no fireball
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
