He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
