She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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