What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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