Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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