i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
