I am full of burrito and curiosity
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.