You just made me feel so damn special
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
