when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
