I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag