do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind