ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
