His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
