Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
