I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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