its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
