CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
