i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
