A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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