Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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