why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
worst night to have a conscience
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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