I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
