Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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