I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
