come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
