hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
