what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
