i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
