Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
