Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
