I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
this hospital has no fireball
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
