elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
