youre lurking in front of me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
