problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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