I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize