so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Im part way to drunk.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
