I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
