well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
