Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
