dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
