Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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