I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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