Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
