ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
