Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
