everyone is single if you try hard enough
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
