quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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