nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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