Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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