I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
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oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
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Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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