remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
