Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
