Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
