there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
